I'm at a local (and the BEST) coffee shop/bakery. It's a great vibe here. I decided that since I already fucked up earlier today, I'd go ahead and have what I've been craving- a bagel and cream cheese. I also ended up having the green machine Naked juice AND a sticky oat bran muffin. I'm feeling so full, my first instinct is to purge.

I don't want to purge though. It'll only reinforce the bingeing behavior. If I don't purge, I'll suffer the consequences of bingeing and maybe, just maybe, it'll stop me in the future if I don't allow myself an "out." 

Still...it's not easy feeling full. I hate the feeling. Tomorrow I'll be empty though. 

My cousin posted some pictures on facebook of us at a football game. I didn't feel particularly fat when the picture was taken, but I sure do LOOK it in the pictures. My stomach is large enough to see the imprint of my belly button in the pictures. If there's one thing I hate, it's my stomach. I can handle my legs and, to some extent, my arms. But my stomach has always been something I abhor.